completely lost orientation, and it seemed it would even be hard to say where was up and where was down. Time seemed to stop.
"Here's who will test you fully..." my own voice suddenly said in my head, and under my ribs the unpleasant tickle of approaching panic fluttered. The familiar sour smell came. You're imagining it. You're just imagining it. There's no smell.
I closed my eyes and inhaled air. It smelled only of hospital and recent renovation. It's fear, buddy, just fear. And yet I was afraid to even move because of the irrational certainty that I'd immediately run into the sharp chelicerae of a swamp spider. My heart pounded like a jackhammer. It seemed behind the noise of blood in my ears you could make out the clicking of spider claws.
"Panic attack," I told myself, with my last strength trying to keep consciousness on this side of reality. "After the neurodesigner you're afraid of complete darkness."
In the endless blackness some lights moved smoothly, as if carried by a current. As soon as I noticed them, they sharply changed direction, then just as suddenly froze. I couldn't understand if they were far away or maybe hanging in the air right in front of my face, but their movement caused dizziness. I was losing my sense of reality.
"Indicators," my own voice sounded in my head. "LED indicators on medical equipment. You're turning your head and it seems like they're moving."
This thought brought some relief. I still couldn't orient myself in the ward, but the space around gradually became real.
"I'm looking through the multivisor," Irma's voice suddenly sounded, and it was like a gulp of air. "He's asleep! Artificial sleep."
I shuddered, finally shaking off the last remnants of panic. Obviously only a few seconds had passed. I wanted to wipe the sweat from my forehead and discovered with surprise that I had a pistol in my hand.
"Irma..." I called quietly, but she interrupted.
"I'm turning off the artificial sleep now!"
"Don't even think about it!"
We needed to get out. I don't know how... But definitely not by disconnecting artificial sleep for a guy who was shot at with an induction rifle today. I wanted to approach and stop her. But as soon as I took a step, panic returned, screaming in my head that right now I'll run into a spider. With my face into its downy paws. And though how absurd this thought was, it paralyzed me, pinning me to the spot.
"Irma!" I repeated. "Don't do it!"
"It's all fine."
And then immediately something clicked. Then one of the medical devices beeped thinly, and silence fell for a few seconds. Finally the bedding rustled on the bed. It sounded like someone stirred. Then strange: the sound was such that he kept stirring and stirring, not stopping. Stirring, stirring, stirring, stirring, stirring...
"Irma! What's happening?!"
Another endless moment of silence while Irma answered in confusion:
"I don't understand..."
"Don't understand what, Irma?!"
It seemed to me, one more second and claws, stingers, or god-knows-what-else would pierce me. I gripped the weapon tighter, feeling an irresistible desire to shoot while there were still bullets.
"Irma? What exactly don't you understand?" I asked, feeling panic squeezing my throat.
"Look! You have a flashlight—look!!!"
Right! Calling myself an idiot, I found the holster on my belt, yanked out the flashlight, feverishly felt for the button. The bed was empty.
"Higher!" Irma with the multivisor on her face stood by the bed with her head thrown back.
I raised my gaze without raising the flashlight. There was enough light to see the ceiling well. But to believe what I saw was impossible.
On the ceiling, hunched up, either in a crouch or on all fours, in just his underwear, sat Okamura. More precisely... It looked like Okamura—with the angular muscular figure, black hair, buzz cut "like a marine," dragons intertwined in a tangle on his back and shoulders... But his face... Imagine someone sculpted it from plasticine, then just smeared it with one strong movement of the palm. All the features were like melted wax. Where the eyes should be—just skin that had tightened over the depressions. The nose—an indistinct bulge, and the mouth—a barely noticeable fold, as if cut with a thread in plasticine... I stood, stunned, not