But I didn't answer. I just turned and, gritting my teeth, limped toward the headquarters entrance.
The commandant sat opposite me, behind a large empty desk. A box where the general's things had been packed on the eve of evacuation stood by his feet.
"And if the arsenal is found?" I asked carefully, so as not to give myself away prematurely. "You're searching for it. Maybe for its sake it's worth postponing departure a bit? For a few days and..."
"If only I knew what's there!" the general interrupted. "And nobody knows! And it's not a fact that those weapons are effective against the clawed freaks! Maybe they're depth charges—like the ones they bombed spider burrows with on Proxima. And that's as useful to us as a poultice on a corpse! I don't even imagine what to fight against the fleas that cut our power! There's never been anything like this! Nowhere to charge batteries! The backup grid—can't handle it! I have two transporters operational! Two!!! Half my guys' rifles are on zero, and there are lines for outlets! We deployed all the solar batteries we found, but the weather, as you see, doesn't favor us. These bugs, or whoever they are, can attack any moment, and we're naked here! And in this situation you propose postponing departure. I'd speed it up if I could!"
He waited for my reaction, but I remained silent.
"Do you hear me?"
I was silent. I thought about whether to tell him about the arsenal. If I knew it would help—I'd gladly do it. Actually, that's why I came now. Don't give a damn about the tribunal and everything else—if only they'd find her. But if there really is some useless junk there, I'll just go to jail, and my Elza will lose her last chance...
"And most importantly," the commandant continued. "You refuse to believe in your daughter's and wife's deaths," (I involuntarily flinched at the word "deaths"), "and I wouldn't believe it either in your place. But the fact you don't believe doesn't mean they're alive. Do you understand me?"
"Fuck you," I thought. "You don't understand me."
"After all, there aren't only soldiers here, Gil," he tried to look me in the eyes, but I stared at the floor. "Don't forget how many other children are with us."