My brain, exhausted by gaps in memory, hastily lays out a solitaire of memories, hurrying to arrange them in the correct order—like that very chain of "why" and "therefore" that those born from the mycelium can't grasp.
I remember Irma. How we sit in our cafeteria, and she darkens, hearing that deserters can't go to Earth. And how later I caught her and Okamura when they were arguing after the night raid—the corporal had enough sense not to go to the forbidden zone...
Irma was looking for someone to replace him and chose me.
Involuntarily I imagine a phantasmagoric picture: already on Earth, in the yard of some sanatorium for Corps veterans, I'm digging a hole with my hands and burying myself in the soil to start a new mycelium... And immediately I remember Elza, who was digging something on the beach in front of the house in an attack of sleepwalking.
Thud-thud-thud-thud...
Who knows what would have happened if I hadn't woken up that night. Most likely, in the morning the real Elza, wrapped in a shroud of web, would have lain in a grave dug by her own hands, buried under a false lawn grown overnight. And the next night, when we'd be running our feet off searching, a chimera resembling a little girl would have knocked on our door...
"Elza," I say aloud, suppressing the desire to shout.
I need to search somewhere here. I get up. My body obeys, and this is strange, considering it's been motionless for several months. Though my brain thought the body had lived two very, very active months—because the clone was in communication the whole time. Like a radio-controlled toy... And if not for my syndrome, it wouldn't be me at all controlling the toy...
"Elza!" it's strange, but my voice, tearing through the silence, gives strength and courage.
The laboratory is bigger than I thought, and I can't understand which way to go. I close my eyes, trying to remember how I saw this same room through Nathan's eyes. Back then, though, all these roots weren't hanging here... Nathan went that way, so the exit is there, and around the corner—the quarantine compartment that Irma and I never reached. And now I'm almost certain that Elza—is right there.
"Elza brought home a flower yesterday..."
"What flower?"
"She says it grew on the beach."